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 ‘Meetu’ the daughter of my batch mate and friend S.P. Mathur, an IPS officer, was to marry ‘Rajat’ a handsome young man at Jaipur. It was to be a traditional wedding and many of us from Madras went to Jaipur to be a part of the long drawn festivities.
The relatives and friends who arrived, several days in advance, from different parts of the world were given a traditional welcome with ‘aarti and
tilak’.
To signal the celebrations, the ritual of ‘Niyotna’ (invitation to the bride’s maternal grandfather, uncles etc.) took place three days before the wedding. The bride’s mother accompanied by all her in-laws went ceremonially to invite her father and brothers. She honoured them with garlands, aarti and gifts and carried in her hand a plate filled with thirty two dates (batheesi) and requested them to come for the wedding and perform all the rituals including the ceremony of bath as per the custom. Since they have a significant role to play in the wedding it is necessary to invite them with due importance.
 Two days before the wedding the ceremony of ‘Samela’ was observed and the bride’s brother went and invited the bridegroom to come and marry his sister. He carried gifts for the bridegroom and his relatives along with sweets and fruits. He also offered ‘sherbet’ (sweet syrup) in a silver tumbler to the bridegroom to drink.
In the evening, a musical night was held by the bridegroom’s party in Sisodia garden, a fine example of Rajputana landscaping and architecture. The women dressed in colourful costumes sang and danced to the lilting sound of folk music. There were more than sixty items on the menu and the party continued till the wee hours of the morning.
The next afternoon, the bride’s maternal grandfather gave a feast to the family of the bride and their relations, friends and guests. All those present (including me) were made to sit honourably and presented with gifts by the grandfather, in the strict order of protocol, starting from the bride’s parents, uncles, aunts, cousins, friends, etc. This is known as the custom of ‘Mayra’ or giving ‘Bath’. This tradition is attributed to the period of Lord Krishna, who is supposed to have given ‘Bath’ for his poor friend Sudhama’s daughter.
 In the morning, the ritual of ‘Mehndi’ (henna) was conducted at the bride’s house. The bride and all other female guests applied henna to their hands as an auspicious sign and to bring good luck. Later, a musical evening was conducted by the bride’s family followed by a feast in a surreal outdoor setting. It was an enchanting garden with fountains and a ‘Baradari’ (pavilion) surrounded by the hills of the Aravalli range, called ‘Vidhyadhar ka bagheecha’ (the garden of Vidhyadhar). The garden was lit up with decorative lights and a sumptuous meal was served in the open, under the stars.
This time every family member from the bride’s party sang and danced. Cousins and aunts decked in traditional attire performed folk dances connected with the marriage. Some of them had been rehearsing for months. Much singing and dancing continued around the bride who was sitting like a queen on a throne in a lovely blue ‘lehnga’ (traditional skirt). She also sang a welcome song in honour of the bridegroom. The feast ended only by midnight, after the climax was achieved with ‘Daler
Mehndi’ numbers.
 The following day, the reception of ‘Baraat’ (the marriage party) took place in the sprawling lawns of the Youth Hostel. The ‘Baraat’ (marriage procession) was received with great pomp and show and the ritual of ‘Milni’ took place. The bride’s father received the bridegroom’s father, her uncle received the bridegroom’s uncle, cousin received the cousin and grand father received the grandfather and so on. Each guest was individually received and given a monetary gift and taken care of by a relative of corresponding importance. This seems to be a very sensible custom and paves the way for cementing newly formed relationships.
After all the guests were received, the ritual of ‘Jayamala’ (ceremonial exchange of garlands) was conducted. The bride dressed in a red tissue traditional skirt and Kundan Jewellery (jewellery inlaid with uncut diamonds) and the groom dressed in a ‘royal turban’ exchanged garlands in the presence of the august gathering. In Indian tradition, in case of ‘Gandharva Vivah’ (love marriage) ‘Jayamala’ is deemed to be sufficient to pronounce a couple, man and wife. The wedding feast which followed was most memorable, with all the Rajasthani delicacies, pooris, kachoris, sweets, savouries and the unforgettable
‘kulfis’.
 During the feast, the important members of the bridegroom’s family were made to sit at a separate table and the custom of ‘Gasa’ was performed. During ‘Gasa’, which literally means putting food in one’s mouth, the bridegroom’s relatives are requested to eat after honouring them with an ‘aarti and tilak’, and a gift of money and morsels of food are literally put in their mouths. Only after Gasa had been performed, the VIPs ate.
The wedding took place in the simple surrounding of the bride’s home. The maternal uncle had an important role to play in the rituals. He assisted the bride to take the ‘seven pheras’ or ‘Saptapadi’, walking seven times around the sacred fire, along with the groom, while mantras were chanted. Finally, the bride was made to sit on the lap of her father-in-law, as symbolically her father gave away the daughter. This custom dates back to the days of child marriage when the father-in-law had to literally carry the bride to his house. Finally the bride departed for her new home amidst a lot of tears and crying, wearing yet another beautiful dress.
 For some time, gloom set on the entire household and everyone was sad at the thought of the separation from their beloved daughter. After consoling the bride’s parents, guests started departing one by one. Each one was sent back with a ‘thanksgiving gift’ for coming and attending the wedding - yet another example of Rajasthani hospitality. I personally came back with two beautiful sarees, one from the bride’s maternal grandfather and one from the bride’s paternal grandmother. In case you are invited to a Rajasthani wedding, do not miss it, for it’s a memorable experience.
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A Rajasthani Wedding
