|
Sex is not the body’s hunger If the stomach is the
beginning, the first gross physical apparatus to seriously influence
our thinking, the next is sex, which has got equal share to carve
our personality, if not more.
 |
|
Swami Suddhananda |
Man learns all the arts and sciences to earn a living first, then
to gain name and fame and then to use it as a tool to win the favour
of the opposite sex. Very few people transcend this need to earn a
livelihood, name and fame or to attract the opposite sex, but just
learn for learning’s sake. A few, a rare few, who are lost in the
field of learning and research are ridiculed, and they seem to be
losing something if they have denied themselves whatever others are
pursuing. That may be a weakness, but a harmless, noble weakness.
Anyway, after the stomach, it is the sex organ in the body which
seems to have a demand just like hunger. As hunger is not triggered
by a thought, but it is a purely pranic function, so also is the sex
demand, which is not activated by our thoughts, but at least in the
beginning of youth it is the expression of a physical condition, of
physical excitement, which nobody deliberately wanted, but it is
there. Before that, there was no thought of sex in the head. Once it
is experienced, the sensation is recorded in the brain.
Then the person comes across or is introduced to
various exaggerated literature on sex, sees the movies or listens to
the imaginary escapades of so-called smart friends. And all of them
say that the man must indulge in sexual experiences.
Now, please see, sex is no more physical. The
thoughts have taken over and ‘I’ - the individuality’ - wants a
relief, even though the first time I had the sex experience with no
thought of my own. The experience was recorded as a thought and when
that thought comes up – then also there is nothing wrong – the ‘I’ –
the ‘individuality’ - comes up and expresses the thought with the
physical action.
Now if one analyses, one can clearly see as to
who wants the sexual experience?
Certainly not the organ. Even though physical
causes like certain food, drink, company, dress, etc., can cause
excitement, if one leaves it alone, the excitement wears off. A
thought cannot have experience.
Nothing wrong with the thought, as it is just
reporting a physical state like that of hunger, headache, etc. Again
as “Consciousness”, I, the reality, am aware or conscious of the
thought, the body in general and that organ in particular. To be
more specific, when the thought of sex comes up, it is as though
only that organ is real. We remember no other parts. As even during
hunger, only the stomach is cared for. It does not matter whether
the food is hot or cold, whether it is cooked or not. Man is in a
terrible hurry to fill the stomach.
So also in relation to sex, the thought makes
that organ more prominent, but neither the organ, nor the thought,
nor “the consciousness” wants satisfaction. It is the ‘I’ – the
‘individuality’ – another thought, which owns up whatever thought
comes and demands to fulfil every thought. Now suppose consciously
if one gives in to thoughts and goes on yielding, suddenly this
thought will change to “I-do-not–want–it”.
So, like food, sex can never be a problem once we
place it in its own place. At least food is a necessity, without
which man will die. But nobody dies because he did not have sexual
experience.
Sexual experience is purely a luxury, something
without which we can be. Air is a necessity, but air-conditioning is
a luxury. Food is a necessity but types of food are a luxury. Water
is a necessity, but hot or cold water is a luxury.
The attempt in our life or education should be to
convert as many necessities into luxuries as possible, but today we
are busy converting luxuries into necessities and we call it
“progress”, “a status symbol”!
Thus, sex is a luxury, but we have converted it
into a necessity by continuously thinking about it, reading about
it, listening about it, revelling in it. Most of the literature,
movies and journals are today sex-oriented, not to give a release to
man or woman, but to tie them completely to sex. Mystery surrounds
sex and it is presented in such a way that every man is dissatisfied
after his own experience.
To waste time and life on sex is something really
tragic. Man or woman uses sex as a weapon to win, subdue, humiliate
or frustrate the other persons. When one of the partners has a
greater or lesser need, he or she is totally exploited. That can
create jealousy, misunderstanding and too many people live in that
atmosphere.
One cannot afford to be a slave to the thought of
sex, more so in the youth when the life is beginning to take a
shape. So many are wounded, bruised, hurt, rather exclusively as a
victim of their own ignorance about sex, like any other subject.
Youth is the time, that too in the prime, that
one must care to know about sex, so that the opposite sex is neither
a mystery nor an attraction. One is confident, happy satisfied
within himself until he attains some position in life. Thereafter he
is married, more for companionship, togetherness, for raising a
family, than only for sex.
The man or woman who marries only for sex finds
himself or herself without any base for commitment. After some time,
sex should not be the ‘only’ thing in a marriage. Nothing is wrong
if it is one of the many.
If one does not understand the workings of one’s
own thoughts, then the crowd is not in the outside world. The moment
one is excited for physical reasons, the mind brings into life many
faces. The crowd is inside. But if one understands the functioning
of his own sex, even the whole world of beings cannot excite him a
bit!
Hunger is something we have to satisfy as the
denial of food can prove fatal. But certainly not the sex. Sex is
something most beautiful as it involves another person and
procreation - to see something after one’s own image. The woman who
bears the child must be a willing partner to carry the child of love
– where she wants to be the mother, he wants to be the father – the
sharing that merges two entities physically into one – ‘a’ child.
That also is the moment, the moment of
togetherness when the child was conceived, that both parents become
one in their own-self. No more thoughts, no more bodies but one pure
awareness! Again, nobody cares to keep track of it. They attribute
that happiness and bliss to sexual experience. No doubt, the
togetherness created a sensation – physical that overwhelmed all
thoughts and there in that “void”, in that “silence”, one alone is,
in spite of the two at the body level.
Thus, one must know about sex in the beginning of
the youth, then pursue his studies or any vocation diligently
without being distracted by sex until he is the master of his
profession, which brings him physical security. Then he must marry
to enjoy companionship and all that goes with it without ever being
a slave to sex.
The literature on sex today is so sickening that
it destroys the child’s mind with exaggerated expectations. Finer
and subtler sentiments like “love for love’s sake” is relegated to
the background or never talked of and love means now sex, or else
“love-making”, this word, will not be used for sexual experience!
‘I’ – the ‘individuality’
The unfulfilled expectation can turn to dejection
and complexes which themselves are another type of thoughts. There
again the ‘I’, the ‘individuality’, comes in, to rule over the
thoughts, meddling with the thoughts. To have a thought about
something is to be knowledgeable and there is nothing wrong in
having a thought about anything.
But ‘I’ – the ‘individuality’, yet another
thought, owning and disowning the thoughts and experiences puts
itself into all such physical and mental problems, whereas in
reality the body or the thought by themselves are never a problem.
Of course ‘I’ – the meaning of the word ‘I’ – the Consciousness, in
whose presence, all the mental and physical activities are taking
place is ever blissful, without any trace of agony or ecstasy,
happiness or unhappiness, dejection or elation.
Thus, in our body landscape two spots – (i)
stomach (ii) sex organs – are the most sensitive spots which trigger
many, many thoughts. If one analyses, one can see that there was a
physical experience in the first place and thoughts were but the
simple and innocent recording of those experience. Later on, the
thoughts are taken over by ‘I’ – the ‘individuality’ appearing from
nowhere and the individuality starts playing havoc with the limited
body. Thought of anything by itself is never a problem.
(To be continued)
Swami Suddhananda
Samvit Sagar Trust
Tiruvannamalai
|
