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Swami Suddhananda |
It is essential to understand myself the ‘I’ because it is my
presence. Me being alive that makes the creation a mystery or a
riddle for me. Without a gross physical body, I cannot be a party of
the physical universe, without a mind like any animal I cannot
perceive, think or handle the creation. But without the sense of ‘I’,
the individuality, I cannot have a sense of limitation, conflict,
compassion, fear, anxiety, resistance, denial, indulgence or any
strong emotion. Without the sense of ‘I’, the individuality, the
creation will not appear a mystery, as there is nobody to question
it. Nobody or nothing questions the universe, except man. Among the
human beings, only those who have a solid or strong sense of
individuality can question creation and sometimes ‘I’, the
individuality.
When we start questioning the word ‘I’ to understand it, we will
discover that the letter ‘I’ has become a word as it has some
meaning: For a letter or combination of letters to become a word, it
must be associated with an object or an emotion. The meaning of the
word cannot be another word as it is in a dictionary but the word and
all the meanings must be associated with an object or emotion which
by itself does not depend upon a word or a series of words for its
existence.
To say that the word ‘man’ means ‘a human being’,
‘a person’, ‘adult human male’, ‘the human race’, ‘husband’ etc.,
etc, as in the Oxford Dictionary, is to associate a word with a
number of words and ultimately all those words have to be associated
with an object, which by itself is not a word or a bunch of words.
In fact, all the dictionaries in the various languages do not mean
anything unless they are associated with different objects in the
world. There may be one object, but there may be as many names as
there are languages.
There are two levels of objects that can be
objectified. There are gross, tangible objects. An atom is an
invisible intangible substance. The emotions in the mind are
intangible and invisible to the senses . As even the gross object is
visible and the atom is invisible, the gross body is visible, and the
subtle mind or emotions are invisible to the senses, but visible to
the eye or eye of eyes – the Third eye, the Self, the Consciousness.
There are words, which are the names of the
visible, tangible world. There are also words describing the
intangible emotions, which are subtle and invisible to the senses.
All the words and names are dependent upon the
objective world to be meaningful. The one who names it all is the
individual, the ‘I’, and that word itself is redundant for its
meaning to exist. Yet, it has its source both in the realm of the
objects and the subject, the relative and the Absolute, and neither
is dependent on the word ‘I’.
In fact, if we analyse further we can see that the
‘I’, becomes an additional name for everything in the world except
for itself. Take for example a statement: “I am young”. In this
statement ‘the youth’ is imposed with another name ‘I’ and ‘I’ has
dragged a condition of the body on to itself. In another statement,
“I am rich”, the riches are attributed to the name ‘I’ and the ‘I’
drags the limitation of riches to itself. But the ‘I’ goes on
shifting from body, to youth, to riches, etc., and the body or riches
have no sense of ‘I’ to hold on to. Thus the ‘I’ can have relative
meanings with riches, body, education, positions, thoughts and
emotions and it can have an absolute meaning where the word ‘I’
itself can drop, yet ‘the sense of being’ does not drop out. For
nobody or nothing else other than the individual ‘I’, this relative
or absolute meaning matters. Without the sense of ‘I’, or
individuality, no relative or absolute concept can ever be thought
of.
Hence the ‘I’ is the first name and then it goes
on naming everything and everybody around. Instead of losing myself
in naming, let me understand the first name ‘I’ who has picked up all
other names and attributes. The ‘I’ has different names like rich,
poor, Sriram, Douglas, Indian, American, deaf, dumb, graduate,
undergraduate, executive, labourer, angry, loving, etc. Describing
one’s own Self, the ‘I’ with any of these above names, words are
identities is like explaining the word ‘man’ with other names without
seeing ‘meaning’ of the word ‘man’ which is not a word or a name.
Thus I must know myself. Everybody must know himself and in that
knowledge there is no difference whatsoever. The differences are only
at the relative levels, with the identities that we have but not in
whom we ‘are’. I can question myself to understand whether I know
myself or not. There are three categories in which the answers to any
question may fall.
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Right knowledge
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Ignorance
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False knowledge
To a question as to what is the capital of
India, one can say:
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Delhi
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I do not know
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Bombay
Between the ignorance and the false knowledge
there is no difference except that the false knowledge gives false
confidence. Sometimes in examinations false answers are negatively
marked. To the question “Who am I”, one of these three answers may be
given.
I know myself as I am, free from all words, names
or identities. I do not know who I am as ‘I’ has many levels of
identity I take one of the relative identities as the Absolute ‘I’.
Our education system, social modes and religious
beliefs impose upon us the third condition. As a result, we see so
much of false confidence, conflict and confusion.
Self-knowledge helps us to see ourselves as we
are, to differentiate between who we are and what we have and then to
go beyond the concepts of ‘I’. I am and I have all the names and
forms to make use of but never to depend upon anything or anybody
except for effective functioning.
Close your eyes. Think it over to see the thoughts
and the thinker. Then open your eyes to live the understanding as
long as the body lasts by making use of everything around. While
living in the creation, while living for yourself, live for the whole
creation to make your life a blessing for yourself and for all.
Swami Suddhananda
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